Meet Ronald Savage.
I first e-met Ronald Savage while surfing the web yesterday and stumbling across a gem of a thread over on The Mainboard a sports and off-topic message board. I ended-up spending four straight hours laughing so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. It all started when I clicked on a thread titled Facebook Statuses That Make Your Cringe Part 2 which consisted of facepalm worthy status updates. Over the course of a few months, Ronald Savage started being featuring prominently in the thread due to his constant Facebook updates that came across like a meathead douchebag.
A couple are quoted below:
Ronald Savage - Got my protein, caseing protein, jack3d, now all I need is my additional BCAA's and a solid creatine supplement to switch to instead of the pill form and I'll be good to go
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Ronald Savage - Mess with a bull you get the horns, but if you mess with a Savage your bound to get yourself killed
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Randy Savage - Let me put it this way...I can't be around pot or anyone that does it ever because I get EXTREMELY VIOLENT. I don't see any reason behind it that's constitues it as good medicine and sadly I do mean for medicinal purposes as well, but that's just me. I don't associate myself with anyone that does drugs on the regular, every once in awhile or anytime."
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It is discovered that Ronald Savage on top of being a savant in regard to Facebook Status updates is also an amateur model who has appeared in one Ed Hardy Fashion Show along with participating in the following extremely hilarious photo shoot:
After months of his Facebook updates being posted on TMB, Ronald Savage, googles himself, which Savage quote does often to "see how famous he is getting" and finds out that the TMB has been making fun of him for months. Ronald quickly updates his status on Facebook to let the legions of his Facebook Friends know that “everyone at the mainboard.com who were talking shit about me in the facebook statuses that make you cringe part 2, AHAHAHAHAHAHHA, your all a bunch of fat useless haters, thanks for letting me know I was on your mind 24/7.”
Ronald Savage then registers on The-Mainboard under the handle EdHardyModel and drops a couple of hilarious posts trumpeting his many accomplishments:
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For the record I've accomplished a hell of a lot more than anyone on here I'm sure. Let's see I'll name all of my achievements.
- Was a fat kid - now I'm a model
- Sparred with Chuck Norris (Seriously FACT)
- I'm becoming a fitness trainer which is why I'm so into fitness. Everyone takes pride in their work reguardless what it is that they do.
- I help people in any way I can and would do anything for anyone reguardless what they think about me.
- I trained at a gracie jiu - jitsu academy in Raleigh, NC for 2 years and have an ammy career of 4-0 trying to go pro (possibly?)
I'm at work because I have a life, let me get back to you later
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Internet Harrasment charges are being filed as we speak, the fun and games is over, you lose...
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Posters on The-Mainboard.com petrified after having Internet Harrasment charges filed against them with the E-Police respond with the following memes and tidbits pertaining to the one the only EdHardyModel:
This angers the combustable EdHardyModel who rips off the following posts threatening physical violence resulting in severe contusions (aka bruises) and even death among anybody willing to meet-up with him at Frederick Town Mall.
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If ANY of you actually want to meet me and get your head caved in please meet me at the Frederick Towne Mall sometime. After I beat you to death I'll drag you into the Boscov's storage center where I used to work and throw you in the closet in there and I promise nobody will find you because that mall is abandoned.
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Come get some mother fucker, I'll be there from 6pm until 11pm tonight and working out after work. I'm not scared of shit faggot, bring yourself, you know where I am now come bring yourself and get fucking DESTROYED. You have no fucking clue what i'm capable of, the last peson I got in a fight with ended up with a severe contusion because I smashed his head off the pavement, come let me do it to you, please.....
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The-Mainboard is not intimidated by the 4-0 amateur mix-martial artist and aspiring model and responds back with this meme making fun of Ronald inability to differentiate between a concussion with a contusion and more laughs ensue.
An old acquaintance of Ronald's drops by and leaves this hilarious Youtube of Ronald doing a stunning rendition of Nich Lachey's "What Left Of Me" and laughs are had by all parties.
Ultimately, Ronald Savage throws up the white flag and "filed a police report" while The-Mainboard erected his likeness on Mt. Mainboard, which depicts the peopled that The-Mainboard have owned the hardest over the years.
There are so many hilarious moments in the thread that it is really difficult to summarize into concise blog post, but ultimately I hope that Ronald Savage is one day featured on the MTV Show Jersey Shore along with idols The Situation and Snooki, but in the meantime check out the thread pages 27 through about 100 for a barrel of laughs.
Part 2 of The Ronald Savage Stoty is located atCliffs: Part 2
